Half way up the stairs...

Life has suddenly and forcefully happened over the past few days, I thought things had been going a bit too well. Jeanie had her second litter in August, two babies on a Monday, one with fluid on his lungs and was very weak and we lost him at a day old :-( She then had another baby on the Wednesday (unheard of for us for such a long labour!) and this baby seemed very strong and the two survivors, both girls, pulled through and were very strong. Jeanie did a great job of looking after them, she's a brilliant mum. And then around 2 weeks old I realised the youngest kitten had a deformed ribcage, I have seen it before and heard about it, in some cases it can grow normally and in others it's permanent but the kittens can live a full and active life. As she grew, it became clear that this was a severe case and she was much slower to play and run around than her sister, finding eating difficult as we began to wean them at 5 weeks and her breathing grew more laboured. Then at 7 weeks she still wasn't eating unaided, we had to prompt her to drink and she would sit by the heater and watch her sister run around. Jeanie was still very attentive and hadn't abandoned her but she went down hill within a week and we made the sad decision to let her go on Friday 11th October; she was just 8 weeks old, despite our feeding her and keeping her as warm and comfortable as possible she wasn't doing at all well. Nicknamed Fidget at a few days old (because she could scoot around the nest so quickly!) she was a little character and so very sweet. I like to think she is running free at rainbow bridge, whole and well and happy. I miss her every day but I have her sister Pudding (she likes her food ;-) ) now named Jessie to keep me busy which I'm thankful for. Losing a kitten at a day old is bad enough but to lose another at 8 weeks is heart breaking and so difficult, in fact I considered giving up my hobby of breeding my cats altogether, the pain is horrendous when things go wrong. It still needs some serious thought. Sleep tight baby girl, we miss you so much!
And now it's taken a few days for all of us to process this and realise the permanence of our loss...we had to say goodbye to Bryn, our 13 year old Border Collie, on Monday 14th October. He had been very energetic a few days before hand and enjoyed a day outside with our other collies and my Dad on Saturday, even jumping up on to the sofa on his own (he had chronic hip dysplasia and had an operation as a youngster to remove the ball of the joint) so that was quite a feat for him at that age. It was a shock to see him Sunday morning laying quietly, eyes closed and barely able to move - we think he had a very severe stroke during the night which left him paralysed down his right side.
Letting him go was the kindest thing to do for him but it has broken my heart. I made the mistake of thinking he was always going to be around, in my mind he was invincible and didn't let his bad legs affect his life at all no matter how many times we told him to calm down, not to jump around or run like a mad thing! But he knew best of course!
I'm cherishing the memories and the fun we had competing in agility, he preferred to take his own course and make his way back to me but he was known for his sense of humour and it was wicked :-)
The hardest part is adjusting to life without him; the house with 3 Collies feels empty, and there is a very definite gap, he was always to be found on a sofa, in the Beagle's bed, laying by the front door or his very favourite seat - stretched out on the stairs, wedged in tight so anyone wanting to go up or downstairs had to step over him carefully, no way was he going to move! Half way up the stairs is the stairs where I sit, as my dad used to sing to him and it suited Bryn perfectly. I keep expecting to see him out of the corner of my eye or hear his bark demanding one of us fetches him from the second floor landing or to be let into my room! He loved sneaking into my room and making himself comfy on my bed and last year my new double bed...he would start laying down by my feet and in the morning I would wake up to him stretched out next to me with his head on the pillow :-)

This was March 2012 in our local park, Bryn on the left with Aussie on the right..so glad I managed to take some pictures on a gorgeous day of my beautiful boys.

Remembering two very special pets and members of our family, we miss them every day and I wish they were still with us, but I dream of them running free and happy at Rainbow Bridge with the rest of our pets from years gone by.

Bryn - Touchango Jesta Minute (1/04/2000 - 14/10/2013)

Fidget (21/08/2013 - 11/10/2013)

Hold The Phone...

So it's a day later than I had planned but here it is at last, my fantastic announcement *drum roll* I have been offered a full time job! This is my first real job working in a team which is part of a much bigger company and I am thrilled that I was offered the position.

Initially I had sent in the application for weekend work and didn't expect a response, but I was emailed and asked to go to the interview. I was nervous, not gonna lie about it as it was my first serious interview, but after some prep talks with my lovely boyfriend I was ready and the day rolled around!

My goal was to answer the questions without tripping over my words, turning a pretty shade of beetroot or simply appearing to be a complete wet lettuce really and it actually went well :-) I came away feeling pleased that I had tried my very best, been myself and answered all of the questions without any problems. I was told to wait for a reply by the end of the week - insert nail biting week of waiting - I wasn't holding my breath though but lo and behold I had a phone call on Monday asking whether I would like the job! I was thrilled to say the least but then came the even more interesting part, would I like to interview for a full time position the next day? No brainer, of course! So off I went for a morning interview having looked over the job description an hour earlier so I had an idea of what I could talk about. Again it went well, I answered as best I could and felt I wasn't quite up to scratch but I was pleased they had asked me to try it out and that I had a good feeling about it. I left feeling elated, two interviews in as many weeks and both felt successful - result :-)
Then that very afternoon I received another phone call offering me the full time position and needless to say I accepted it and replied in writing today! *par-tay time*

It's taken a few days for it to sink in, I'm very excited and more than a little nervous but it's onwards and upwards from here :-) I couldn't have done it without the support of my boyfriend or my family, it means so much that they are there for me and I hope I can be there for them when they need me!

Prep & Pep Talk!

Second post in one day, I must be ill! Oh wait, I do have a cold and seem to be suffering from fits of the giggles at random times of day for little or no reason but I'm blaming the coffee.
Looking back at past tweets or things I've clicked as a favourite and I think this is probably one of the most important ones so far; it's simple and to the point and makes sense instantly, no long winded advice, just pure simple sense.

Neil Gaiman's writing advice"mostly it's a process of putting one word after the other.Fix it tomorrow." @neilhimself...
— KateMaruyama (@KateMaruyama) September 14, 2013

It's something I've never thought of before, to literally put one word in front of the other and sort it out tomorrow. It suddenly shifted the mental block out of the way and shoved me forwards to the point where I am really looking forward to NaNoWriMo instead of dreading it. Fear is holding me back again and the same niggling doubts - am I good enough? do I have any writing ability? will I be able to fix it all tomorrow or simply throw in the towel? And this little quote found on twitter reassured me that I've come this far, got 60K under my belt from last years 'win' and all I need to do is repeat the process, dig down deep and produce the goods! I've done it before so there is no reason why I can't do it again. Right? You'd think so, but I really need to kick the fear out of the park or it will hold me back permanently. Who cares if my writing isn't up to scratch...it's called editing for a reason!
So if you're aiming for nanowrimo this year, I wish you lots of luck and we can get through this together :-)
Now, where's the coffee?

Singing Cat ^.^

Okay so this might be a little mad but my mum and I cannot help but giggle if not break out into hysterics when a particularly lively piece of classical music is played on the car radio...we work together and Classic FM is usually on as we travel around!
Anyway, as you probably already know we have a lot of animals, cats, dogs and 2 very fat, very spoiled horses and they generally become the ballet dancers, musicians and artistes that we know they are in their own little world ;-) like I said...we're all mad here!

Yesterday was one such example. It had been a long day, we were both exhausted and in need of a laugh and needless to say Classic FM did it again accompanied by the image of our animals prancing around on stage. Before I post this, let me assure you we have a lot of respect for the music and the people involved in making it and it is in no way making fun of them, but making light of our pets and de-stressing, good harmless fun :-)

Verdi's La Traviata aka Drinking Song began to play and suddenly my Bengal stud cat Jack popped into my head and I was reminded of his early morning and late night ritual of bidding the world a good morning/evening...this is what he thinks he sounds like in his rendition and it fits him perfectly :-)

Verdi Drinking Song

To the world however, this is what he really sounds like!

Scuttle the Seagull

I still love him to bits, he is such a character!
Stay tuned for more singing and dancing cats/dogs/horses and maybe some writing news when I get around to it :-P